Recent pictures of the kids Autumn, Gavin, Eli, and Ethan

Two days in a row of writing

Well almost a month into my training for the Gate and boy am I sore. I only ran 5 miles t0day, joined a gym this weekend, and am looking forward to starting back with that tomorrow.   The soreness really isn’t bad, I don’t think it really hit me until about 30 minutes after I got home.   I never realized how bad I was eating till I started trying to eat right again. Hopefully I can get back on track quickly and hopefully stay on it, got some chicken grilling on the grill and corn and greenbeans on the stove. I had a little taste of some rice too for quick eat. I’m hungry.   I’m in a good mood today, nothing special just feeling good. It’s a wonder what a little exercise will do for you

Almost 10 years ago I started a time travelers journal, a place for me to reflect on the past, present, and future as I was traveling towards the turn of the century and the beginning of a new millennium. I made wishes for the 21st centrury. I made visions of what the Big Picture was for me at the time.   Here it is another New Year and I’m still feeling I’m looking for many of the same things. I’m still looking for the “Big Picture” so to speak. I’m still looking for peace of mind, and purpose. I can go back  and read over my journals and I’m thankful. I remember those really hard times I was going through. I feel stronger in many ways today. I described last year of at times being painful. But it really wasn’t so painful or hard as the first steps I took almost ten years ago.   That journey within.  I also read of New Years’s of this closeness I felt with nature or the spirit. I still long for that closeness. I’m still looking for happiness within myself. I think about the first steps of healing or recovering that I took a little over ten years ago, and I think now, am I still recovering?
As I ran today,  I was thinking of some of the people I chat with on here and facebook, I hear they have bitter cold weather, it had a chill in the air today, but was beautiful most of it, I was out in shorts and a tank, and not the least bit cold. This year, this wonderful New Year, is fitting for me at any rate. I look back on the disasters of 2009. And hopes for rebuilding of 2010. I’m looking for a feeling inside myself that will take off and soar.   I have also found myself really interested in my genealogy again, and have been working on that, turning back to roots and the great influences, going back in order to draw strentgth from some of the deep sources and people that have shaped my life;family and friends. I find myself looking back. I feel on this day ,  I am in a quiet way blooming again. This year I have goals, no resolutions, just goals, hope, and faith. And maybe the gloomy parts I’ve felt the last two months will just go away.

Kind of fun getting back on the blogging road again too.    I’ve missed it.

 

First words of the New Year.

As usual, I’ve been looking back, looking at now, and looking at the future. In his painting, “An Allegory of Prudence,” 16th century Venetian artist Titian portrayed Prudence as a man with three heads. One head was of youth facing the future, another was of a mature man eyeing the present, and the third was of a wise old man gazing at the past. Over their heads Titian wrote a Latin phrase that means, “From the example of the past, the man of the present acts prudently so as not to imperil the future.” With the new year here and this being my first post of the year, I think we need this kind of wisdom to overcome the anxiety created by our past failures and the fear of repeating them in the future-an anxiety that keeps us from living to the fullest now. Sometimes I try to forget my past and anticipate the future. My memory hasn’t been erased but I do feel more free of any guilt I may have felt from some of my past actions. I have to forgive myself, and hope that I have been forgiven by any I may have hurt, but know in my heart I have been forgiven by God.   I believe with His help I will be able to live fully in the present and I will gain wisdom from the past and face the future with courage. There’s a saying, can’t remember where it came from but it goes “Don’t ever let your bleak past overshadow a bright future.” I like that. I hope everyone has a blessed and wonder 2010.   I’m going to try and start posting on here more often.   I joined a gym today.   So not only the mind, the body as well.  I’ve been training again for the Gate River Run, started that on Jan 1st.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life is good.  I’ve got lot’s of new pictures to add of the family.   My niece and nephews have grown so much since my last posts.   I’m still more on facebook, and I guess I have that to blame for my absence.   But with a new year, I’mmmmmmmm back!   Hope everyone is well, can’t wait to start blogging  again.

My Buddy Mau is moving back to Mexico

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Good friends are hard to come by.  Hate when you just start to make friends with people and they leave  just when you feel like your getting to know them some.  Mau moved here about 6 months ago, and every time I’ve been around him, I’ve had a blast.  Great guy who seems to brighten up all those around him.  Wishing him the best on his move back to Monterray, Mexico.   Hope I’ll be seeing him again in the future.  I’m sure he’ll be bringing smiles to all those he meets.

Uncle Alfriend 1921-2009

I’ve been thinking how lucky I was growing up in small farm town of Ocilla, Ga.  I was lucky enough to grow up not only being close to my cousins, but my 2^nd cousins as well.   My Papa and Mema’s farm was right next to his sister Aunt Evelyn’s farm, also by their farm was their brother’s K.A. Veal (Uncle Alfriend), and Elton Veal Jr. (Uncle Elton), in the middle of all the farms was the church we all went too, the church my great grandfather Elton Veal help to found or establish with many of the other hard working people in the area.   We grew up not only knowing our Aunts and Uncle’s but our great Aunts and Uncle’s.    Having close bonds with not only our first cousins but our second cousins as well.   For me it gave a sense of security and belongingness.  There we so many people to serve as resources and provided many different role models.   My dad also went to church with all of his first cousins.   My Papa also had another sister, Aunt Clyde and three brother’s that moved to Florida, Uncle Jack, Uncle Douglas, and Uncle Prentice.   They came to visit often as well, and we got to be close to all of them as well.    This past weekend my Papa’s last living brother passed away.   Uncle Alfriend was 87 years old.   What a full life he lived.  My memory of Uncle Alfriend that is the strongest is of him being the Sunday School Director and teacher as well.   In my memory there wasn’t a time I can remember that he didn’t do this for our church.    My second memory of him is with Aunt Mary Jo, I remember watching her sometimes when he would teach the Sunday School lesson, and how she would watch him with so much love.   I think anytime I saw her look at him she was looking at him with love.    He loved his family too, and was very proud of my cousins Caroline and Joey, and his grandchildren, just like my Papa loved us.  Another big memory is of him being a farmer.   My town is known for its Sweet Potatoes.   Each year we have a Sweet Potato Celebration and parade.   Uncle Alfriend was the biggest Sweet Potato Farmer in our town.   He grew the best sweet tators around.   He was the president of the Sweet Tater Council and the Chairman of the Ga Sweet Tater Commision and was always up on the big high-rise platform during the Sweet Potato parades.   He was also a big peanut farmer.   But as a role model for me was his love for Jesus and for his family.   I don’t ever remember him missing a day of church growing up.  He was always there, and I remember his beautiful prayers.   I was always happy when the preacher would call on him to pray.   His love of family and love of telling stories was another thing I loved about him, much like my Papa he would love to tell us stories about the Veal’s and Ennis’s we never knew, the ones that came way before us, way before him.    I’m forty one years old, and sometimes although I know I’m in the real world of adults, I feel like I’m still in the community of that little area called Holt, forever young, with so many great uncle’s and aunts to look up too.  

New post

Wow, once you actually give blogging a rest, it is very easy to give it a rest, this was my first really long rest blogging in many years.   I’ve been doing it for years.   But all of a sudden I got really into facebook.   It was my newest thing.   I wonder how many folks blog that are on facebook.  Well there’s a lot I’ve missed saying in the few months I’ve been silent.   First look how big Gavin has got.  This picture was actually a few months old since the last time I went home, can’t belive I havn’t posted anything since then.  Well two weekends ago we had our little family vacation.  Look at him now at the beach.  Everyone has grown.  Autumn, Eli, and Ethan just started back to school last week.  Autumn 4th grade, Eli, 2nd grade, and Ethan in Kindergarten.   Does time ever slow down.  Sure wish it would.   I just keep getting older.  I’m going to try and start back blogging more regular.   Just have to make myself.

Tom Goss

Tuesday night I went to Three Layers Cafe to see Tom Goss sing.  I really enjoy his music, can’t quit listening to his cd’s.   Check it out at www.tomgossmusic.com

 

Fine Friday or is it Sexy Saturday already

Andy has been my fine Friday I know at least once, lately the guy has just been getting more and more pumped.   One day I’m getting out to Austin.    He and Jef seem like a great couple.   Would really love to spend some time with them.   Anyway been a while since I’ve done a Fine Friday or  a Sexy Saturday but here he is.  The guy is brilliant as well, not just another purty face!   

Happy Birthday Handsome man!

Patrick Mark Salazar is the wonderful photographer for his pictures. Here’s his website: http://manofaustin.com/

One day I’m going to take some shots of him that I’ve got in my head.

The weekend

This past weekend was the Shrimpfest in Fernandina Beach, went up Friday-Sunday and spent with my friend Donny and Dan at there home.   Had a blast all weekend with them.  Went to a party Saturday that my friend Tom co-hosted, I’ll post pictures of later and more of the shrimp fest.    Had a wonderful breakfast at Mrs. Caroline’s, then went to the party and ran around the streets of the shrimpfest.  It was very hot.   Gavin and Mike came down too, and they came over to Dan and Donny’s as well later in the afternoon, and Donny fried up some fish and shrimp and fries.  We ate like kings.   Dan’s sister Kris came with her friend Mebane and we took some pictures down on the beach, and Donny and I got to take some at the Plantation.   Here’s a few of them.  It was also Gavin’s birthday on Thursday, and Mike surprised him with tickets to “Wicked”.  Will write more later it’s getting late.  More pictures to come from the shrimpfest and Roger and Tom’s party.

Last night in my dreams I saw a child that child was me, he was embracing himself against the dark. He knows not why, nor imagines why. He only acknowledges the existence and the “feel of things” to come. He waits…He waits… He waits for the reality that will knowing come, He knows it will come…with a vengence and a rage, it will come, and he waits…   Life without pain, He waits… For neither shame nor sorrow He waits… He waits for the scars to heal, They are deep, The soul was wounded, And it lies there bleeding, until it too will come, with a vengence and a rage masked by duty. Oh, Yes!  It too shall come.   Muffled voices fall on a muted, numb brain, but he feels the tension.. he knows, Anticipation crushes his chest… and he knows. Oh God!  Please!  But he knows. Fear grips his eyes as it turns them to liquid. Light suddenly and blindly explodes the room It has come.   Somewhere tonight a child sleeps, curled inside himself.  He tries to reach the womb, nine months without pain, no sorrow, not tears. For in the womb there was comfort and peace.   The child will find much in this world, pain and sorry, joy and love. So for now he waits… and dreams of gossamer wings that will fly him to peace and a life without pain… He waits.   by Derek