Faith and Fear

faith1e

The other day a friend posted a quote from T.D. Jakes, that went “Whatever youve drawn closest to you will grow in your life. Be sure you’re nurturing what you want to grow and starving what you want to die.”   When I read it, it just hit me hard.  Couldn’t get the quote off my mind.  I prayed about it, I thought about it.  I’m not sure why, but I just couldn’t grasp my thought around it.   I was like I don’t want to starve anything and make it die.  Then the next day I saw this picture above.  As I said I’ve seen the stillness of beautiful sunrises in the last week, and yesterday I saw a storm.  In it I heard “Don’t be afraid”.   As I watched the storm I thought about the disciples as they were in the storm and they saw Jesus walk on water.  He told them not to be afraid. That is was Him.    When I saw the picture above.  It was one of those moments!  Epiphany, I started thinking of my thoughts and how many of them are fear based.  I have been thinking about fear a good bit, and also thinking of that voice, saying Don’t be afraid.  I’ve been thinking of fearful distance, and fearful closeness.  How some of us run away when we are scared, and how some of us cling to others when we are afraid.   I talked about this to a friend and she brought up something really interesting about the Disciples of Jesus, that after Jesus was arrested from Matthew 26:56, they deserted him and ran away and that after He was crucified, that they all huddled together clinging to one another in fear of the Jews.  Says that in John 20:19.

Safe distance, safe closeness.  The last few days keep getting filled with so much beauty.   Yesterday, I was heading for an interview, and feeling nervous and fearful.  I’m not sure why.  Just was.   I made it through it, then afterwards I sat on the riverbanks of the St. John’s and watched the most amazing storm.   I think I’m getting closer to  writing what I’ve been feeling than yesterday, but don’t want to overthink.  Anyway here’s one of the pictures I took yesterday watching the storm.  I’m not making any claims to be any less fearful, but I am trying to ask myself, if something I’m thinking is fear based, and trying my best to just give that thought as much love, so maybe I can starve any fear!    Fear is something I would love to starve in my life.

photobyderek

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~ by deveil on MayUTCb000000pmWed, 22 May 2013 16:05:25 +000013 19, 2007.

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