Back Again!

Been a while!    Why is it that every time I end up single again,that I start back writing.  My head hurts, and I’m hungry!  But here I am blogging again.   Looking so hard for my happy place.  This once was my happy place!  I love writing and trying to express myself.   How do I express everything that I feel right now.   Guess I can’t.   Mostly have held much in for quite a while.  Why I chose to do that I’m not sure.    Just last week I was seeing the blue bird of happiness.  This week not so much.  Why do I have to feel all this pain one day after Easter.    It’s never easy to move on. I’m trying not to focus on what could have been  or what could have been- there is still a world of what will be.  And I’m trying to concentrate on that.  I find myself at times in place I so don’t want to be, but realize, God is just showing me another direction.  Hard not going back to some of the same directions I was in back where I was a few years back.  But I still have God in me, and wherever God can take me, it’s got to be good!   It’s time for fearless living.  Balls to the wall!  BOLDLY knowing that God has a big plan!   Holding in much, trying to make the hurt part go away.    Just trying to find me again!  Just me!  Guess I haven’t been so sure who that has been lately.  But then again, I think I know.   Still in growth mode.  Gradually becoming more intense or to increase.  Back to writing on Inside Me!  What’s in my heart.  The condition of the heat is not something we are born with or just strikes us suddenly.  I think it has to be nurtured over a long period of time.  Lord let me nurture my heart while it’s hurting.  Lord please heal my heart and help me walk in your spirit.  Let me be more sensitive to God and not let my heart be hardened.   Stay sensitive to the Holy Spirit that I haave been feeling in the small things, keep maturing in the Lord, and become more and more whole again.   Walking in the Spirit, not in the flesh!   I write those words, but right now I am struggling.  A friend sent me a verse today.   So I put the verse on one of my pictures that didn’t really come out clear, but it seems to fit the picture. darkness


~ by deveil on AprilUTCb000000pmThu, 04 Apr 2013 18:23:16 +000013 19, 2007.

2 Responses to “Back Again!”

  1. Derek –
    I was delighted to receive a comment from you the other day; my emotions leapt with the notion you may be ‘ back in the saddle’ as it were, and posting. And lo! Here you are! I am pleased as punch to read your updates, although I am saddened to here of your single status again.
    I hope you will keep us abreast of your news, and blog regulary now!

  2. Good to be back! 🙂

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