Monday thoughts

derek22.jpg

In 1999 I started a time travelers journal, a place for me to reflect on the past, present, and future as I was traveling towards the turn of the century and the beginning of a new millennium.  I made wishes for the 21st centrury.  I made visions of what the Big Picture was for me at the time.  Here it is another New Year right around the corner and I’m still feeling I’m looking for many of the same things.  I’m still looking for the “Big Picture” so to speak.   I’m still looking for peace of mind, and purpose.  I go back six years and read over my journals and I’m thankful.  I remember those really hard times I was going through, some of the hard times I’ve recently been going through.  I feel stronger in many ways in the present.  I described this year times being painful.  But it really wasn’t so painful or hard as the first steps I took six years ago.  I still find myself trying to find this closeness I felt with nature or the spirit.  I still long for that closeness.  I’m still looking for happiness within myself.  I think about the first steps of healing or recovering that I took a little over six years ago, and I think now, am I still recovering?  I guess each day I find myself doing that in many ways.  I’m looking forward to Christmas with my family.   I can’t wait to see that love that I see in my families eyes. 

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~ by deveil on DecemberUTCb000000pmMon, 17 Dec 2007 20:07:02 +000007 19, 2007.

5 Responses to “Monday thoughts”

  1. can i borrow this time traveler apparatus? it sounds useful.

    you always have such lovely and thoughtful posts!

  2. My that picture LOOKS AWEFULLY FAMILIAR!!! I seem to remember it staring out at me from a little portable 3.5″ by 1.5″ electronic gadget! LOL

  3. I’m hoping this makes sense. Do you know how when we get sick with the flu or something similar, it takes our physical and mental selves time to catch up to our bodies, in order to realize we are actually sick, and that’s why it hits all at once? I use that analogy because I think it’s similar when we get better or recover from something. Our core self is often guarded, and can take a bit moire time to catch up to where we are currently seeing ourselves and feel comfortable.

  4. That inner search for happiness seems to be the most challenging. I’m going through it myself. I hope the new year brings us both closer to our goals. *hugs*

  5. The soul and happiness search is a long journal for everybody. Sometimes, the journal iteself might be more important the destination. Good luck to you for everything and happy holidays to you.

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