I’ve been thinking about my past today. Trying not to be too hard on myself. It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But maybe it’s better to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience and growth.

Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to another level of living and loving. The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons.

I’ve come out of some painful circumstances with strong insights about who I am and what I want. Mistakes? Oh yes, many! Necessary! I guess so. Necessary for me to learn from the mistakes. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too. Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we need to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed. Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.

Today, I ask for help to let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today. One of my internet friends sent me this. I really liked it. I also wrote a poem years ago, that somehow today feels right for this entry.  I havn’t been able to read everyone’s blogs as much as I would like lately, and promise I will be catching up.   I havn’t got a new computer yet or laptop, so I’ve been doing all my blogging at the library.   I’m starting to know all the people that work here by name.

Allow Your Own Inner Light to Guide You

There comes a time when you must stand alone.You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.You must be willing to make sacrifices.You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.

Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.

Be confident enough that you won’t settle for a compromise just to get by.

Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.

Don’t stand in someone else’s shadow when it’s your sunlight that should lead the way. 

Inside Derek

Lost inside myself

Reaching out to anyone

Who might be able to save me

Pictures in frames change with time

Evidence of my journey

Faces of stars that weren’t meant to

        GUIDE ME

Becoming more hopless and afraid

of never finding the way 

Never finding the path to my destiny

I stand outside alone at night, close my eyes

And feel something that surrounds me

It is then my spirit hears their voices

rise out of the darkness

A sigh in the trees…

“Our eyes are the stars that shine”

“Our love is the moonlight that gently whispers the night”

“Our hope for you fills each glorius dawn with light”

“Our pride in all you have done, gives color to every sunset”

You look into the eyes of your ancestors

And realize you were on the path you were meant to take all along

No longer inside yourself, you finding your guiding stars

More beautiful than any other in the vast sky.



~ by deveil on OctoberUTCb000000pmWed, 17 Oct 2007 17:36:21 +000007 19, 2007.

5 Responses to “”

  1. Nice post bud!

  2. Well said!

  3. I so know these feelings. I learned about free will and asked for forgiveness for my choices. I was forgiven. My biggest obsticle was forgiving myself. ALS changed my life for the better and I will remain changed after the cure. That is my prayer!

  4. It’s so easy and tempting to be negative about the past failures. Sometimes I would convince myself as being the victim. Pathetic I know. But the longer I live, the more I realize these episodes, however painful and frustrating then, are pruning me to be a better person, a better friend, and hopefully when I meet the special person, a better partner.

  5. One of the toughest things for me has been forgiving myself for past mistakes. Lots of great thoughts in this post. Thank!

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