Thought while I’m sitting here in pain with no pain pills and the boyfriend is out of town

dereks-mothersday-569.jpgdereks-mothersday-583.jpgPain is a strange thing. It was all consuming for me for the first few days. No peace, just good painpills, lots of sleep and doctors visit. Then came a little depression, because all I could think about was the pain, and spending my time in bed and realizing my vacation of next week will be pretty much the same thing instead of with Mike in Indiana and then my family in Myrtle Beach, S.C.   Then somehow I noticed there were breaks in the pain, it wasn’t 100% of the day in pain, I had little breaks where it wasn’t quite as bad. Only I really couldn’t focus on much during that time. Finally the pain broke, or lessened. Last night I ran out of pain pills so today I’m toughing it, rough too, I’m ready for my MRI tomorrow and more pain pills and maybe a shot of muscle relaxers and something else too.  I’m miss being on 100%, I was only there for 4 days this past time, and that’s not good for a 5 week timetable, this is not me and I don’t like it.  But what can I do but go through it, pain by pain, minute by minute.   There are moments of joy, something little, maybe just a phone conversation with a friend.   Or maybe just Abby coming up to be loved.  I read a book a year or so ago by Henri J.M. Nouwen “Making All Things New”, my pastor had talked about it, which was some good nourishment for my soul. I found my quiet time I had so been searching for, although I had rather been doing a 100 things if I could. I find myself worrying about work, and things like that, but just try and keep it to one thing like getting better.  Mostly I’ve laid on ice today and watched Lifetime stories of people, halfway sleeping, halfway watching.   It was really beautiful today weather wise, I sure miss running, I did walk a few blocks until the pain got to much.  I miss the ole Derek, the fun Derek, the Derek that wasn’t in pain.   O.k. enough of making you feel sorry for me.   Yes Mike is away in Indiana for a few more days, and I’m here to fend for myself.  Could someone call a nice massage therapist for me?   He did call today and seems he twisted his back doing some hiking up by some waterfalls.   I do miss him, I miss lots of things it seems, but mostly just being able to walk normal.  O.k. time for a relaxing hot bath, followed by more ice.   I’ll fill you in more when I know more after tomorrow’s MRI.   Here’s a website that you can check and see which celebrity you look most like.  It’s kind of fun, and will make you laugh.  Also posting some shots of the nephews and nieces fishing trip this past weekend. dereks-mothersday-561.jpg


~ by deveil on MayUTCb000000pmSun, 20 May 2007 18:43:50 +000007 19, 2007.

5 Responses to “Thought while I’m sitting here in pain with no pain pills and the boyfriend is out of town”

  1. I hear you bud. You at least have Mike. Imagine trying to meet someone and hoping your back doesn’t go out while your going down on him. I was just there and the next day was interesting to say the least. I wish I was there with you I’d help you out.

  2. Fingers crossed the doc has good news after the MRI. Those are cute pics, BTW. 🙂 Thanks for the link…..

  3. Good luck with the MRI results. I hope you’re back to 100% soon!

  4. I saw your comment on flyboy Lewis’s blog You have a kind and a tender heart. This is a good thing, and in short supply in this world these days.

    Coming off something such as Vicodin comes with an “every joint aches” syndrome. That will lift over time. Not sure what the cause of your pain is – is there a specific post with a diagnosis described on it?

    Our bodies are so fragile. It is not until one is older and no long fueled by the invulnerability illusion that comes with youth, that we sense how fragile mortal life is.
    As friends and family pass on, the sense of fragility only grows. You sound like you have a strong spiritual foundation: one foot in the here and the now, and the other one stepping into eternity. I think that is what it takes to make it through these mortal lives we each live, with all the challenges that are thrown our way.

    Must go to bed now as this I is work night.

    Cheers, Will

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