Just me thinking to much as usual

The purpose of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. Proverbs 20:5
Lately it seems I’ve been doing some serious pondering. Life in general. Lessons, still learning them from day to day. “So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have” Powerful stuff huh. Yep from the bible, 2 Peter 1:12

The question was once asked Who do you want to be-the critic in the stands or the man in the arena? I’ve been thinking about how I’ve been living lately. Thinking about what holds me back. Sometimes I think it’s just me holding myself back. I don’t want to be the critic and tell someone how they or what was done wrong. But I do find myself doing exactly that, with the person I’m supposed to be caring most for, the person that I’m supposed to be seeing the way God does. I want to be in the arena. I want a worthy cause. I want to believe in myself. I have talents that I need to dare to believe in and go after. Seems so many times I find distractions to keep me away from going after the things in life I know I need to strive for. I’m a thinker, sometimes I can’t sleep for my head keeps going long after I lie down to rest. I want a stronger mind, I want a healthier body. It’s all up to me. Maybe it’s time for me to sit down and make a list. I also keep finding myself pulled in the past, sometimes I’m not even trying to go there, I’m pulled back by other’s wanting to revisit my past. Even though I feel I’ve moved on with many things, I find myself right back where I once was, maybe a little differently, but still there. Life is amazing, I feel so happy and so blessed but at times I find myself in places I really don’t care to be. Confusing entry now that I go back and read, maybe I need a nap. I havn’t slept good since Wednesday night.

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~ by deveil on JanuaryUTCb000000pmSun, 28 Jan 2007 19:30:00 +000007 19, 2007.

7 Responses to “Just me thinking to much as usual”

  1. And sometimes God puts us right where we need to be just so we can see who we are and what we have and what we can become… YOU my friend are a handsome, intelligent, funny, kind, sweet, whitty man with oh so much to offer – socially, professionally and personally… I think you are where you need to be – for God is currently molding you for something wonderful…

  2. Get some rest bud. Sometimes it’s nice just to mediate to find a focus on what is going on in one’s life.

  3. write this blog out in list form and stick it on your fridge; so you don’t loose track.

  4. Sounds like something new is emerging, a new thought or a feeling, maybe a creative idea.
    When I get like that, I try to get really quiet and listen to the what the “still, small voice” in me is saying.
    I’ll bet you dollars to donuts, you’ll hear something.

  5. Hi Derek.

    Wow…I love your soul searching. I’ve been on a similar journey for years now. Lots of work to find purpose and passion. That journey has been guided by the work of Richard Rohr (see http://www.malespirituality.org).
    I really learned at the MROP that I was a beloved Son of God. No one could ever take that from me. The flip side is that we have to see everyone else as a beloved Son (or daughter) of God too… It is such a great place to live from.

    Keep putting it all in the hands of God…that’s what you are invited to do..

  6. Just keep being he person you are and dear to ponder things. It makes us better. Yes we can over-anaylze things but the key is to moderating it and knowing when we have stepped beyond the bounds.

    Do you ever get tired of thinking. Admittedly I do. Sometimes I just want to go numb/go into a dreamstate to escape.

    And regarding the lack of sleep..hell yeh there was a bear in your bed. And a mighty fine oen at that. Hmmm…you shot him with your mouth…no, no, no, I won’t go there. (evil grin)

  7. I KNEW Tony would pick up on the “shot the bear in the mouth” statement… LOL ~eg~

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