I’m trying to be real

Must we lose you so quickly? Like the reality of a dream you filled my blog with your thoughtful comments. And just as permanantely and just as quickly As you came, you leave. And we? We are left with the dream of a reality. You have touched us all!

I’ve been running from my feelings quite a bit this week. Marc was my first commenter in my blog. He started with a compliment. We emailed back and forth. I never let myself realize he wasn’t going to make it. In my mind he was getting better day by day. I dreamed one day I’d get to wrap my arms around him and give him a bear hug. For some reason the book “The Velveteen Rabbit” comes to mind. Because knowing Marc through his words. I felt he was real. In a world of blogs he was real! When I came to the blog world, reading his words made me feel real was possible. It’s definately been a process. Sometimes reading his words made me emotional, sometimes it made me feel empathetic. sometimes he made me question my views. Reading his words I felt his courageousness. He was honest, he was generous, he was grateful. These last few days I’ve realized being real is painful. But most of all it has showed me love is enduring. All these feeling, and I only read his words. But I was touched, and blessed to read them. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and loved ones. Those that were lucky enough to be blessed with him in their day to day lives. His words brought feelings and inspiration. Much love going out to you Marc, and that big bear hug I always wanted to give you.


~ by deveil on AugustUTCb000000amWed, 23 Aug 2006 01:16:00 +000006 19, 2007.

8 Responses to “I’m trying to be real”

  1. He was the most real person I ever knew. I think because he started experiencing hardship at such a vulnerable age – he never saw a need to put on masks as most of us do. He faced death his entire adult life. When you live within that frame of thinking of mortality; You have no choice but to be real. There was no time for sugar-coating reality. We all do it; he didn’t. Some thought he was too serious; it was the contrary; He knew what mattered and what didn’t. Over the years he lost many friends who just wanted everything to be ‘fun and shallow.’ There was no substance. I pray for those people now; They are the ones who really lost out. He’s gone, but all that knew and embraced him – won.

    Thank You, Derek.

  2. What a nice tribute.
    Marc has touched so many lives and will never be forgotten.

  3. Derek…
    Sometimes the most real things come from within.

    Josh thanks for sharing yet another tidbit about Marc.

  4. Tht was very nice of you. I read his last blog entry and was very moved by it. We should all try and live the way he did. Very touching.


  5. He will be missed….

  6. To me, he is almost like you!?

    Why do you think I wanna meet you and give you a hug?!


  7. Derek, that was so touching. I hate it that I could never hold him. I miss him very much indeed. I admired him like a big brother, even though I think I had a few years on him.

  8. It was sad to hear about Marc. Cool blog mate!

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