Getting it back

I am here to tell you that you can get your heart back. But your going to have to fight for it. I want all wounds healed and strength restored. I’m a fighting. Today I’ve been sitting with my thoughts, ever changing thoughts and a little pain. Sometimes thinking of the pain, but then something just saying let go. Don’t hold onto it. I read many blogs seems many of us are going through so many different things. After yesterday I’m trying to see what is in front of me and being thankful. Things may get hard, but seeing what we do have and being happy with that is important for me. I am happy and I have faith things are going to even get better. It funny how some days I feel so lost in my journey and other’s I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I’ve let my past hold me back so much. Not liking the person I was at one time, blaming things of my dad for not initiating me into life and my journey. But my father above has been taking me on that journey and providing for me what was missing. A hope seems to be rising up in me one that wishes I could create something to show that feeling, but maybe that’s what I did with this entry. I don’t want to dismiss this hope I want to do something wondeful with it. I think I have some pretty good things to be thankful for. I look back and seems I wrote more than once I needed to find some quiet time, I asked for it a lot, now I’m sitting here going well, I guess I definitely got it. Funny how I didn’t want it as bad as I thought I did. I asked for quiet times, didn’t ask for the pain that came with it. I still enjoy my quiet times though in the early morning, or late night to think and pander about life. I’ve been whining lately, why me, why can’t I get out of this hole of pain. But maybe there’s a lesson, maybe there is something to learn. I have faith there is something to learn. I don’t love God because I want HIM to make my life easier. ( Although I do have those selfish prayers at time)
What questions have you been asking? Question to self, I guess you can tell by this entry I’ve been wondering about my questions. Funny how we get the answers sometimes.

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~ by deveil on JulyUTCb000000pmFri, 14 Jul 2006 15:48:00 +000006 19, 2007.

5 Responses to “Getting it back”

  1. I have been feeling a little meloncaly myself lately. Thinking of loves lost, broken hearts and relatives who are no longer there. The future is another thing thats been weighing me down.
    Hey, thats life though right?

  2. The heart is a pretty resilient muscle; it bruises and bleeds but it mends good enough.
    One question I ask myself often these days; am I really doing anyone any good?

  3. Lots of thinking there Derek. You already konw I do it. But lately I haven’t had time to think of anything personal…scholl has me in a frenzy and feeling a tad stressed. Did I say ‘tad!’ I meant lots!!!!!! I am so ready for it to be done with for the quarter, hell for good so I can rejoin the workikng world in some capacity.

    Still ask myself and the Man AT Be to give me some direction on what my life is about/what my real purpose for being here is? Sometimes I think I clearly see the answser and then other times I fall away from what I think it is.

  4. Great post. You are right. We should be happy with what we have. We should strive to be better people, to accomplish our goals and to obtain happiness.

  5. I love my quiet time. Heck I was raised by quiet time. People don’t understand Why I would want to be alone. That’s how I grew up. It’s part of me.

    I’m always greatful of what I have. I clear my head to try and be all that I can be. I’m getting there.

    I think if your goal is material oriented, you’re on the wrong track. I do think that every body has a goal to help the world. Some bigger then others.

    We bloggers help the little community that we are.

    We make people think, give suggestions and open up.

    J

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