A question in the fog of pain.

Well as everyone knows I’ve been having a lot of time with my thoughts. That and dreams from the pain pills. I’m finally starting to feel a bit of relief, I went to the pain clinic today, I’m getting some nerve blocks done next week, and I’m looking forward to any relief from that. I’ve still been thinking on why I blog lately, since Mike posed the question to me, and almost made me feel as it was a waste of time to him, his words, why are you wasting time on the computer reading what people write that you will never meet, they aren’t your friends, shouldn’t you be out trying to make friends in the real world. Well I explained it in an entry a while back, but last night it came in a dream. It was a impact dream, it was sort of sci fi in the future. I know I was long gone from Earth, but after all these years here were blogs. And people were still reading them, people that were decendents of my sisters and brother, other people. And I was watching them read my words, and those words had an impact on them. Most of my life I’ve walked on this earth not knowing my impact. Maybe still not knowing my impact, but in the dream my words had impact. I guess we chose what kind of impact we have on the world out there. So even in my pain, I’m trying to chose words of impact.

What impact would you hope to have on others? What impact do you fear you may have?


~ by deveil on JulyUTCb000000pmWed, 12 Jul 2006 15:54:00 +000006 19, 2007.

8 Responses to “A question in the fog of pain.”

  1. I hope you keep writing.
    I think that I write for therapy also to find other people to relate to my life’s journey.
    I would like to think that I’m helping others.

  2. I hope that, if nothing else happens from me blogging, that I become a little more self-actualized. By me, putting my thoughts out there, I re-read and think about what I have wrote. It makes me realize some things I want to change about myself.

    And if you make some new friendships along the way, what does that hurt? Some people are a little more private than others. I tend to believe I have and always will be an extrovert and put everything out there for the world to see. It’s not always pretty mind you, but that’s a whole other post in itself.

  3. Hey Derek, what a cool dream. And so true. Your words do have an impact. That means people are being reached and touched, even if there’s no immediate evidence. It’s the energy of reaching out, the process that makes the difference.
    Hope you feel better soon, big guy.

  4. What impact do I hope to have?
    I hope to help myself and others through sharing what I am going through and by being who I am rather than hiding behind what people wish to see

    What impact do I fear?
    That I will be outed against my will and destroy my family.

  5. Derek,

    I actually have a response that is a combination of John’s and Ygnager’s. Realistically blogging gives me a moments peace that perhaps also inspires others or gets them to search there inner soul, perhaps change their view. And it offers me an opportunity to get to know people along the way. I think if there is a real connection between two bloggers, they will make the effort to meet the other ot talk live (phone), much like you and I have.

    Get better bud! Make those reservations for Orlando…want to see ya there!

  6. Please don’t stop.

    Does he read your comments?

    I started blogging for me. To get my head cleared out. Along the way I met great guys, and they’ve helped me and I’ve helped some.

    Since blogging, when I do a spell check, I don’t have anymore mistakes.

    I love your writing. I keep telling you. You don’t respond, but that’s ok.

    I wish I could go to Orlando and meet you. I’d give you a hug and would want one back. I read you and I feel, peace, love, warmth.

    I’m not saying I’m in love here. Just that you really move me with your writing. I really feel like I’m there with you when you recall a story.

    Take care D!


  7. A teacher once told me that our power is limited but our impact is vast. Everyday I hear about some way that I influenced others – usually by some mawkish comment not meant to be profound at all.
    Since we don’t know how we are going to effect the world, keep on doing; it will go far.

  8. Hey –

    So a co-worker is dealing with back problems, today he’s here at work for a few hours and already he’s about to vomit from the pain. He’s had 7 or 8 different procedures and has been out on leave for what seems like a 1 total. He’s probably adicted to morphine he says. He used to be one of the hottest guys here at work and now he’s a thin shadow in the cube next to mine.
    I’ve told him to do anything he needs to keep his mind off the pain. He’s been humming to music he listens to lately.
    You do what you need to for pain management….

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