Happy New Year
In 1999 I started a time travelers journal, a place for me to reflect on the past, present, and future as I was traveling towards the turn of the century and the beginning of a new millennium. I made wishes for the 21st centrury. I made visions of what the Big Picture was for me at the time. Here it is another New Year and I’m still feeling I’m looking for many of the same things. I’m still looking for the “Big Picture” so to speak. I’m still looking for peace of mind, and purpose. I also am lucky and blessed to have someone to share my life with, and have many visions and hopes for a future for us. I go back twelve years and read over my journals and I’m thankful. I remember those really hard times I was going through. I feel stronger in many ways today. I’ve started my past years in many different emotions. I’ve talked about pains in the past, but it really wasn’t so painful or hard as the first steps I took twelve years ago. I also read of New Years’s of this closeness I felt with nature or the spirit. I still long for that closeness. I’m still looking for happiness within myself. I think about the first steps of healing or recovering that I took , and I think now, am I still recovering?
Another New Year yes, started my morning by going to church at Riverside United Church of Christ. www.riverside-ucc.org I’m getting over a Christmas cold but feeling much better. I came home to some quiet time. Am cleaning house, washing clothes, all those things we do at the beginning of a new year. I’ve had my quiet time and read from the book of John some. John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Im enjoying sitting with these words today or WORDS.
I spent much of last night reflecting on the past year. I thought of all the times, the tender times of the heart, I thought of a peaceful mind, which I so long for. Both have something to do with quality, the quality of feeling and reasoning.
I thought here it is the last day of what has been a trying, sometimes beautiful, sometimes uneasy, joyful, and painful year for me. I look forward to dawn tomorrow and, as the days get longer, to begin to feel my way into newness. It is not strange though it is mysterious that our “New Year” comes at the darkest time in the seasonal cycle. When there is personal darkness, when there is pain to be overcome, when we are forced to renew ourselves against all the odds, the energy required simply to survive has tremoundouse force. I did some self potraits last night, I put myself in darkness 
on purpose, knowing the light would come at sunrise as great as that of a flower pushing up throuch icy ground in spring, so after the overcoming, there is extra enerygy, a flood of energy that can go into creation. This morning I woke up feeling it, knowing it, trusting it. Funny enough our sermon today was much on the Light as well. ”This Little Light of Mine I’m going to Let it shine”. Posting last night’s picture, but going to try and do a Light self portrait today for the New Year.
For the new year I find myself really interested in my genealogy again, and have been working on that, I’ve been doing Way Back Wednesdays Posts on Facebook, turning back to roots and the great influences, going back in order to draw strentgth from some of the deep sources and people that have shaped my life;family and friends. I spoke of reflections the day before New Years, but still find myself looking back. I feel on this day the first day of 2012, I am in a quiet way blooming. This year I have goals, no resolutions, just goals, hope, and FAITH. I have a few projects I want to get involved in for the New Year and look forward to those. I look forward to seeing Brian, he comes to town tomorrow and am so looking forward to starting my year with him in my arms.
I’ve been looking in two directions a lot, the past, and the future. There is a prayer that goes “Father we surrender this past year and give it up to You. We give You our failures, our regrets, and our disappointments, for we have no more use for them. Make us new people, forgetting what lies behind and pressing on towards that which lies ahead of us. We give You all our hopes and dreams for the future. Purify them by Your Spirit so that our wills shall truly reflect Your will for us.” I love this prayer. This is my prayer for the new year. Here we are another year. 2012! I want to be encouraged by my successes of the past, and be guided by what I know is out there in spirit. I guess its good to look both ways. Past and future. I know I am never alone. I love my now! The victories of the past give courage for the future. I know this is going to be a great year! Happy New Year to all! Now to go find a picture of me in the LIGHT!
What a great site. The best weblog I’ve ever seen.
Like your commentaries. Like a daily walk with yourself.